Saturday, July 3, 2010

Genesis 1.1

In the beginning was Big Jim's, which went bust, leaving behind 300,000 baht's worth of electricity bills, 20 sacks of bricks, a list of pie legends, lots of sticky tags, an armada of bar stools, a dismantled pool table, a stinking loo, some of the worst self-made plumbing ever seen, a false ceiling of unparalleled stupidity, mysterious sticky-tape outlines on several floors, a cooker, a custom-made fridge, and a sad printed board advertising never-to-be-eaten budget meals of revolting aspect, which the shop here supplied.

And Big Jim also left a subsided extension. And the Principal said, demolish, and it was demolished. And the Principal saw that it was good, and paid over the odds, and dismissed the Chang who had demolished the extension, for he didn't even have a car, let alone a piece of paper on which to jot down that which the Principal said unto him, nor a photographic memory to compensate for the deficiency. Though he was a nice man, yet he was useless, so he went forth to seek his fortune elsewhere.

And the Principal said, let there be no ill will between us on account of you lied to me that it was done when I lay sick abed, yet it was not done. I verily believe you needed the money, and at least you finished the job, which is more than some would do, though admittedly you made about 15,000 baht clean profit from the 20,000 I paid, not counting the 4,800 baht for the lorry that carried away the rubble, plus it took you two weeks during which you worked in total six days, resting on the seventh, the eighth, the ninth, the tenth, etc. but let that be a lesson to me. Now fuck off.

And the Principal embarked on his search for a new contractor.

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